My baby is born

My baby is born.

When I wake up, I hear someone say: it’s a boy! He weights 6.5 pounds!

“What a perfect weight!” I hear my mom says somewhere in the room.

I have a look at my baby. He is such a beautiful little thing! He has thick black hair and full teeth. I am surprised however, that he is dark skinned – Indianish kind of dark. I wonder where he got that colour from as I am Asian and hubby is white.

I try to remember what has happened during the labour. Unfortunately I can’t remember a thing. Apparently I’ve just had a caesarean birth. The whole thing just seems weird. No labour, no pain, no drama, no ordeal. I can’t even remember how I went to the hospital in the first place and what happened prior to the caesarean. As a matter of fact, I feel cheated. It’s like my memory on the whole birthing experience which is a holy and glorious experience to a mother is totally wiped out as if it has never happened. Instinctively I raise my upper body and want to know what happened on my tummy. To my great surprise, I can hardly see any scar! The cut was at the low end and on top of a scar I had from a surgery 17 months ago but was done in a way that it is almost unnoticeable. Mostly amazingly, my old scar seems to have vanished. Although I don’t understand, I am rather pleased with how the operation was done.

The next scene is at the beach. It is still the same day but my baby somehow looks like a two year old. He loves the beach too much and enjoys playing on the hot sand. I am a little worried about my new born baby and feel that we shouldn’t expose him in the hot sun for so long. Nevertheless we let him play for hours since he wouldn’t let us take him away from the beach.

I woke up the next morning with a sudden panic. “Oh my ….” I screamed. I realise that I haven’t fed my baby yet since he was born yesterday! “Where is my baby?” I become hysterical. I am soon relieved as my mom walks in the room and hands him over to me! I sit up in my bed and try to position him in a way so that I can breast feed him. I put him to my left nipple to encourage him to suck. I am quite anxious as I am not sure if I have any milk at all let alone if he would connect to it.

I feel hopeless for a minute. Despite his hard effort nothing seems to come out. But after a few seconds I start to feel the milk coming. But my baby spills his first taste of milk out as if he is protesting. “He doesn’t like my milk!” I feel so rejected and disappointed. But I am soon relieved and happy again as he continues to suck my nipples this time he is really enjoying the taste of it. I feel wonderful that my baby and I have established our first bonding so soon and so easy.